Steam Releases and Other Recent Affairs

September 3rd, 2014 § 3 comments § permalink

Greetings Internet! It’s been a crazy summer, and an especially crazy August, on this side of the keyboard. My thoughts are so fragmented today, following a weekend of sun, biking, and theater, that I’m having a hard time composing them into a single monolithic SuperPost of Ineluctable Justice.  Let’s go line-by-line.

  • Choice of the Deathless, my necromantic legal thriller, went live on Steam this Labor Day weekend, which is VERY EXCITING!  If you already own it, still click through the link so you can see the closest thing anyone’s ever made to a trailer for my books.  If you’re not a game-playing person, this may not mean much to you, but Steam is the main electronic distribution platform for computer games these days.  This means my demon lawyer interactive fiction is now available for purchase on the same service as big triple-A video games like the Mass Effect series.  We’re doing very well over there at the moment, which is great!  My favorite quote from a brief scan of the (overwhelmingly positive) reviews (not that I read my own reviews what are you implying):  “I helped a Goddess, encouraged a Demon to become an artist, died….ended up as a skeleton and still got the girl!”
  • NB, there’s a pretty broad range of romantic options in CotD, and you don’t need to romance anyone.  Just to be clear.
  • The Great Gatsby joins the long, long list of books I missed in high school that I think I appreciated much more upon ultimate reading as a result.  I skipped most of the American Lit curriculum in my youth by, basically, reading lots and lots of Shakespeare, which I think may have worked out for the best.  Going back to works like Huckleberry Finn and Gatsby, I’m impressed by their subtle viciousness.  I can think of a handful of sentences in Gatsby which don’t sit like a knife-blade in the palm.  Almost every statement drips with irony.  Having not read the book in high school I can’t say how I would have found it then, but I expect I would have arrived at the standard “American Dream” interpretation, which is not at all what I got out of this pass.  I read from a copy that had survived a charmingly gormless highschooler’s annotations—there’s a big WHY??? next to Tom breaking Myrtle’s nose.  More thoughts later.  For now: Nick definitely has sex with the photographer, the green light’s a cooler image in full context than when taken as a general stand-in for American Dreaminess, Jordan Baker is still the coolest (even if she cheats at golf, though we only hear allegations about that), & I’ll now start referring to all my Bay Area people as midwesterners.
  • Yes, I just read The Great Gatsby for the first time.
  • Honestly, you don’t have a classic of world literature which you haven’t read?
  • I’ll admit it’s kind of embarrassing I let it go this late, since it’s only a hundred eighty pages.  But what a hundred eighty pages.
  • Also read this year for the first time: Mrs. Dalloway!
  • On the literary analysis front, the latest Feminist Frequency video essay about feminism in video games is out, and makes for good watchin’ if you’re interested in the application of critical techniques to video games.  I’m glad the Games: ART??? debate’s dead enough that we can start treating games as art: transcending candy-like consumption to regard games as a focus for critical analysis, through which we can understand ourselves and our culture.  Ms. Sarkeesian’s punching hard, especially in this most recent essay, which focuses on video game representations of violence against women.  Hard is how you’re supposed to punch.  That’s why we call it punching, not acupressure.
  • One more piece of Guardians of the Galaxy thought: the Howard the Duck tag is a not-so-subtle nod that Disney’s doing the new Star Wars movies, isn’t it?  Howard the Duck, for those of you who don’t know, is a Marvel character.  His precise nature is not important for this argument.  He was, however, made into a famously horrifying movie which was, and here’s the kicker, produced by George Lucas.  In fact, Howard the Duck is Lucas’s first-live action producer credit after Return of the Jedi and Temple of Doom.  So, we have a big overwhelmingly cool space opera which, as Michael Underwood’s been saying on Twitter, is the best Star Wars film in thirty years.  And at the end, where Marvel / Disney typically leave their “next big film” tag, they’ve referenced a property famously associated with Lucas—and which Lucas has handled, um, let’s say less than perfectly.  They couldn’t put lightsabers in the tag without including them in the universe and inviting a call from Patton Oswalt’s lawyers, but Howard the Duck?  Easy.  I read Howard the Duck’s appearance as a sly note to the audience: “Hey, you guys like this film?  Think about what we can do with Star Wars.
  • I may be overthinking that last bullet point.  But that’s practically my job, so, you know.
  • In divine necromancy news, it looks like Detroit’s bankruptcy is entering its final stages.
  • Whaling is deeply weird.  More on this at a later date.  In the meantime, I leave you with the notion that at one point not too long ago on a historical timescale, the global economy, and all forms of machinery, depended on human beings going out into the deep ocean in tiny boats for four years at a time to hunt things that looked like this, only TWICE AS BIG:


And that’s all for the moment!  More, deeper thoughts next week.  Maybe about Gatsby.  Or whales.  Or whatever strikes my fancy in the meantime.

How to Wrestle a Centaur

August 27th, 2014 § 4 comments § permalink

Much has been said about the Elgin Marbles.  But it was not until I toured the British Museum myself that I understood their true significance, and especially that of the Acropolitan Metopes.  In fact, these sculptures, “acquired,” according to the British Museum’s website, during Lord Elgin’s stay in Athens, are the greatest surviving resource about the venerable, long-lost art of Centaur Wrestling.

Centaur Wrestling is referenced in passing in many classical texts, and catalogues suggest that central episodes in the lost Aetheopis and Nostoi prominently featured this art, but the Metopes go beyond reference or description to provide the foundational principles of Centaur Wrestling, which must have formed the basis of meditation for practitioners of all levels of the art.

For example:


Kalliphrenos knows that centaurs, while very dangerous in front, cannot turn at the waist as readily as humans.  As a result, centaurs are very vulnerable when grabbed by their jaw.  Kalliphrenos is especially clever, here—the centaur has been stabbed in the back, and wants to pull to the right, while Kalliphrenos pulls its jaw around to the left.  The centaur sure is in trouble now!


Kakiphrenos, on the other hand, is trying to knee this centaur in the groin.  Unfortunately for Kakiphrenos, centaurs keep their reproductive equipment between their rear legs.  Looks like Kakiphrenos is in trouble—hopefully his eye gouge will be enough to break the centaur’s hold on his windpipe!  Unfortunately, Kakiphrenos seems to have forgotten about the centaur’s rear-hand weapon.  Oh no, Kakiphrenos!



And here, Kakiphrenos is in even worse trouble!  He thinks he’s safe because he has a shield, but even though he’s blocked the attack of the centaur’s right arm, the centaur has a wine jug in his left hand—not to mention two plunging hooves about to drive straight down into Kakiphrenos’ unprotected midsection!  Remember, friends: centaurs have four attacking limbs when confronted head-on.


Ariston is doing very well!  Rather than letting the centaur bear him down, Ariston has waited for the centaur to rear—then stepped in between the centaur’s hooves to punch it in the face.  Good work, Ariston!


Kakiston, on the other hand, tried to retreat from the rearing centaur—but he did not look behind himself first, and has tripped over a wine jug!  Based on the condition of this carving, it’s hard to tell what the centaur himself is doing, but things don’t look good for Kakiston.


Castor has tried to punch the centaur from a crouching position—but he is out of distance to land a solid hit against the centaur, and his crouch has made him vulnerable to the centaur’s plunging hooves!


Pollux has a better idea: he has kicked out the centaur’s leg, then leapt upon him from behind.  The centaur is trapped, and looks to be in very serious trouble.  Go Pollux!

The comprehensive nature of this guide to centaur self-defense suggests an ulterior motive for Lord Elgin’s appropriation of the Marbles.  Perhaps, given centaurs’ propensity for attacking royal marriages, Lord Elgin believed the royal family of the United Kingdom was at risk.  Is there a secret centaur population in the United Kingdom?  Certainly it would explain the existence of the Horse Guard—what horses are they guarding against, anyway?  Surely a clear and present centaur threat would be a greater incentive to Grand Theft Acropolis than “well, you know, they just looked so pretty I had to take them.”

Regardless, I suggest anyone who plans to wrestle a centaur in the near term consult the Acropolitan Metopes.  I know of no more comprehensive resource on the subject!

Tabletop Worldbuilding and Rocket Raccoon

August 20th, 2014 § 3 comments § permalink

Guardians of the Galaxy remains on my mind, perhaps because I’m listening to the soundtrack as I write.

I mentioned in my second-but-last column that the movie is basically the greatest-hits summary of a short tabletop RPG campaign. In the comments and on Facebook, Anise Strong-Morse mentioned that the parallel extends to character creation in a merits/flaws system like the old Storyteller ruleset, or any number of house rules for D&D or WEG. She imagines the process going something like this:

“So, Anna, about your character…”
“You said we could play any weird alien we could think up.”
“I did say that, but you have to admit this is a little nuts. Super-stretchy limbs, the ability to regenerate from total bodily destruction, fireflies, you can bring people back to life by poking them with a sharp stick—”
“Not just any sharp stick, it has to be my finger.”
“And then there’s the damage shield orb thing.”
“It makes total sense for plants to be able to do this stuff! Plants can regrow from cuttings. And they can grow, which covers everything else.”
“…. Conceptually, fine. But you’re way over point buy budget.”
“Did you read the flaws section?”
“Third page.”
“There’s a third page?” Beat. “You can’t talk.”
“No, see, he can talk, but he can only say the one thing.”
“I am Groot.”
“Anything sounds silly when you say it in that tone of voice.”
“You want to spend the entire game introducing yourself to people?”
“Look at it the other way: if I can only say one thing, it might as well be an introduction.”
“If I let you do this, that’s all your character can say. For the entire campaign.”
“I might buy some of the disad later with XP. But basically, yeah.”

(I’m not super-current on my RPG design, but seems to me like we’re seeing merit/flaw systems less than we once did. FATE, for example, prefers to handle merits/flaws by combining them through Aspets, which is a brilliant idea I think. A properly-handled flaw was always an advantage from a story perspective, since it lets players pull the story in their direction. So if I’m Despised, I have a built-in subplot and more points to spend on Wikked Sweet Samurai Swords? Where do I sign?)

Thinking about GotG as an RPG campaign dovetails a bit further with my recent about campaign design and worldbuilding. See, fed up with not roleplaying enough in recent years (too many of my old gaming buddies at least moonlight as adults these days!), I inspired a small group of GMs I know to start open campaigns for our extended circle of friends. Pitches included a King Arthur game, a Spycraft game (or a Mutants & Masterminds game cleverly disguised as a Spycraft game), a Baldur’s Gate game, and my very strange postapocalyptic space opera Warring States period concept, in which the PCs are all space Mohists. The other games are up and jogging now, which is great because I get to play in all of them! My Space Mohist setting, though, still crouches by the starting blocks, sorting out its shoelaces. That’s for the most part ‘coz I spend my worldbuilding points on books (and interactive fiction!) these days, but there’s an extra difficulty: prospective players don’t know the world enough to riff.

RPG settings, I’m realizing, work like melodies do in jazz—which is to say, they are common foundations players spin in service of their own goals. Sometimes you’ll play the melody as it lies on the page, but that’s a beginner level; when you’re Andy Statman you can perform a version of the theme from Rawhide so tight and discursive and transformed that non-jazz persons might catch at most a snatch of the melody. I can build an Arthurian knight in my sleep; character creation for the Arthur game was me spinning Mallorific (that’s the adjectival form of Mallory, right?) quest stories on a walk to the gym. Alternatively, if I’m playing in Baldur’s Gate I can make a dwarven barbarian librarian, because I know what’s possible in the Forgotten Realms, and what’s impossible—and as a result what’s funny there.

Proposition: the ideal RPG setting is a place players already know, or almost know, which doesn’t have a closed story. By which I mean, while I know in the abstract that some people do set RPGs in Middle Earth proper, I’ve never encountered a Middle Earth game, and I don’t know anyone who’s run one, in part because—where would you fit more story in the world and age of the Fellowship? Tolkien does a good job of telling the Middle Earth story in Lord of the Rings. Babylon 5 has a broader universe, but still by the end of that show’s run I feel like we’ve seen the story that universe wanted to tell. Star Wars, by contrast, makes a great RPG setting because everyone knows it and it’s huge. Even if we ignore the EU and all but the first three movies, we have a galaxy-spanning civil war, a criminal underworld, and several thousand years of implied history. Plus, laser swords.

Or, in the almost-but-not-quite category, The Forgotten Realms is close enough to Middle Earth that you can onboard a new player by saying “fantasy with elves dwarves and hobbits,” but it’s distinct in important particulars—including the lack of a closed central plot arc or a single force of monolithic ontological evil.

My proposition: as a GM you want worlds your players already know, with a twist or two to keep things interesting. “Old West with zombies and magic.” “Pulp action, Maxwell Grant-style.” “Tentacles.” “Mission Impossible.” This is important because players’ sense of possibility space informs their evaluation of options, risks, and opportunities. This is why systems are important. It’s more important for players in a D&D game to know that magic is routine and cheaply accessible to PCs than it is for them to know that Ulfgar Rubberduck leads the Flaming Ankle of Baldur’s Gate. (Or whatever.) If you’re playing a Mission: Impossible inspired game, and you want it to surprise your players by having your villain turn out to be superpowered, it helps to have a setup where superpowers aren’t part of the possibility space.

Want to know the single most terrifying experience I’ve ever had as a gamer? “Max, we’re playing a Vampire game. Character creation is simple: just make a human using the standard rules.” Want your players to feel the horror of the World of Darkness? Want them to spend every session jumping at shadows, terrified of a goodnight kiss or a passing chat? This is how you make that happen. I’d played Vampire before; I knew the rules, I knew what was out there. My character didn’t. Poor bastard.

I think this sheds some light on the common, but to my mind weird, injunction in the fantasy community against submitting work that “feels too much like a D&D game.” That advice confused me for a long while; what is “feeling too much like a D&D game”? I mean, obviously you don’t want wizards running around talking about how they’re out of spell slots for the day (unless you’re Jack Vance), but what else could this mean? Maybe that new authors should avoid fellowship stories? That would seem an odd injunction considering how core these stories are to geek culture. But if the caution is really “don’t write me a story that gives me only the familiar; don’t be the jazz player who walks on stage, plays a standard, and does nothing with it,” then that makes total sense to me. Fantasy readers read a lot of books, so we tend to be more like the jazz connoisseur who appreciates transpositions and subtle variations and off-the-wall half-sensible references—but in games, where it’s important to have every player on the same page, we tend to stay closer to the melody.

(Not that there aren’t wonderfully inventive RPG settings! But the best of those can have their core concepts explained in less than a sentence to the right player group. Sigil is the city at the center of the D&D multiverse. RIFTS is postapocalyptic Earth with mutants, magic, and giant robots. Spelljammer is Orcs in SPAAAAAAACE. In Timewatch, you’re the time police and you police time. When the core concept’s twistier than that, you need a very particular player group, willing to follow you into a sourcebook or three.)

Which may be why Guardians of the Galaxy seems so much like a gamer movie, compared to, say, a syringe-full of pure dystopian SF like Snowpiercer. Snowpiercer’s about worldbuilding: we the audience polish this sooty mirror of a dystopian world until we see how it reflects our own; neither main characters nor audience understand their environment at first, and even by the end many mysteries are left pregnant in the text (Bong Joon-ho gives us enough information to deduce Tilda Swinton’s character’s backstory, for example, but IIRC never underlines it, even with a flashback). By contrast, Guardians, like a good RPG, expects us to know what it’s doing, even relies on our knowledge. One review—I think it was Annalee Newitz’s on io9—mentioned how much mileage the film gets by using our familiarity with space opera as a foundation atop which Gunn and team build, using a combination of 70s music, Footloose references, and general doofus earthlingness. Sound familiar? You and your fellow players have been here before. You know what’s possible, roughly, and what’s not. The GM will throw some particular worldbuilding your way (a mining station inside an enormous space skull! Singularity gems! Nova corps!), but your job as a team is to take this thing people know, and have as much fun with it as you can manage.


Guardians, Fellowships, and Galaxies

August 6th, 2014 § 4 comments § permalink

Like the rest of the US internet, I saw Guardians of the Galaxy this weekend.  It was enormous fun.  My wife and our friend and I walked out of the theater, ran through the standard talking points (soundtrack! dancing! raccoon! guns! Groot!), and by the time we hit the pavement experienced a particularly gamer-geek epiphany: we’d just seen the greatest-hits cinematic version of a tabletop RPG campaign.  The GM planned for three sessions, probably, but character creation pushed the first session late so they broke after the arrests.  Then: prison.  Mining station.  Final confrontation.  We’ve played this game, or pieces of it.  Halfway down the sidewalk to the subway, we’d decided which members of our core player group would play which Guardians.

The ease of “casting” the film got me thinking about the community of geeks, and the particular shape of stories we love, and the reason my wife and I have spent the last month hooked not only on board games but on Shut Up and Sit Down’s reviews of board games.  Put on your off-the-wall speculation hard hats, because I don’t know if this will make any sense.  I might end up introducing Yet Another Useless Taxonomy that says more about the contents of my skull than about any kind of objective reality; if so, apologies.  It’s been a long week.

Most important caveat before I continue: geekfolk, nerds, fen, whatever your term of preference for people who walk out of Guardians of the Galaxy hashing over character stats or discussing comics continuity or picking at the film’s politics, we’re people first, and as a result like stories that appeal to people in general.  Right?  Deep traditional plot structures work just as well on geeks as they do on everyone else.  Die Hard may be a fairy tale, but it’s also a straightforward conflict plot, and (practically) everyone likes Die Hard.  It’s not a geek film.  It’s an everyone film (or at least a lot of people film), and most geeks are part of everyone.  Ditto, say, The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly, or Casablanca.  Killer movies, nobody would argue otherwise, but not particularly geeky movies.

Some visual and worldbuilding elements are certainly typical of geeky cinema: science fictional eyekicks, magic, punchings, folks in spandex.  But many movies and TV shows embraced by my particular corner of the universe—like The Usual Suspects and Oceans 11 and The Blues Brothers and Leverage and The Muppets and Rent—still trigger that Geek Rush in spite of their lack of a clear SFnal element.

I think geeks like fellowships.

We like Getting the Band Back Together.  Or just “Together” in the first place.  We like watching people bond and achieve greatness despite their personal conflicts.  Spock and Bones may snipe on the Enterprise bridge, but we know each would lay down his life for the other.  Firefly presents a band of criminals and fugitives bound tenuously together by fate and mutual advantage, and forges them over thirteen episodes into a crew, through betrayal, murder, and the healing power of heavy weaponry.  Mike Nelson and his robot friends mock films from the front row.  Han and Chewie and Luke and R2 and 3PO and Leia all stand on the dais.  You have my sword.  And my bow.  And my axe.  And my railgun.

The fellowship as a concept isn’t original to Tolkien; mythology and folk tales contain many examples, from the corps of supernatural pilgrims in Journey to the West to the Peers of Charlemagne and the Knights of the Round Table.  But geeks seem to have a particular hunger for fellowship tales, especially in cinema.  Iron Man?  Cool, but we’re really holding our breath for The Avengers.  The Phase 3 Marvel movies have succeeded based on their ability to build micro-fellowships around each lead—Winter Soldier gave us a full Cap-verse of spies and super-people, and I think much of the reason Shane Black did so well with Iron Man 3 is that he’s the past master of buddy cop movies, which along with heist films are mainstream outposts of the fellowship genre.

Fellowship storytelling looks quirky compared to the standard Western character / conflict model.  Now, I’m just a plain simple hyperchicken from a backwoods asteroid, never been to film school or anything like that, but as I understand it conflict plots rely on characters wanting different things.  Everyone in The Maltese Falcon wants the bird.  Conflict plots feel pretty simple once you know what you’re looking for: Cindy wants her rifle back, Jo doesn’t want to give Cindy her rifle, what happens next?  On a plot-arc level, the Central Antagonist wants something big that Our (Gender Indeterminate) Hero wants to keep from him, or Our Hero wants something the CA won’t give her.  That conflict is the two hours’ traffic of our stage, or in this case screen.

But the main question in a fellowship story isn’t “will the protagonist succeed in accomplishing her goals despite the efforts of the antagonist” so much as “will these people come together and stay together?”  Guardians of the Galaxy is a perfect example.  Setting aside Marvel Comics continuity and considered on their own merits, the villains in GotG are a bit standard—and that’s okay!  Ronan the Accuser has Generic Space Bad Guy Personality Disorder; he reminded me a lot of the Deep Space Thulsa Doom villain in the Chronicles of Riddick movie, right down to his ‘necroships’.  Thanos’ henchman in this film actually speaks in Emperor Palpatine voice, while being a creepy wrinkled robed holographic head no less!  The movie certainly sells us Ronan as a threat, don’t get me wrong, but Gunn and team are smart enough to know Ronan is as much a MacGuffin as the Infinity Stone—even more so in some ways, since the MacGuffin’s classic function is to give characters something to want in tension with one another: Revenge.  Survival.  Escape.  Getting paid.  Family.  Groot.

Oh, and in case you think I’m being too hard on poor Ronan, I venture that he’s cut from much the same cloth as Sauron in Lord of the Rings.  Tolkien shows us more of the particular brand of threat Sauron represents—a world in which slavery to power usurps all bonds of fellow-feeling, love, and friendship—but Sauron is plot engine more than character.  He creates conflict among the Fellowship: how are we to stop the Shadow?  Go over the mountains or through them?  Use the ring or destroy it?  Chase Frodo and Sam or Merry and Pippin or go direct to Minas Tirith?  Enlist Gollum as a guide?  Shun him?  Kill him?  Sauron offers the main characters an occasion for conflict—as a MacGuffin should.

(The bandits in Seven Samurai are similarly blank, IIRC; Akira Kurosawa knew that though they might be the picture’s “antagonists” in a traditional sense, they were emphatically not its point.)

At its best, and so much of it is ‘best’, Guardians of the Galaxy is a great movie about fellowship: making friends, watching out for them, falling in love with them, having sloppy drunken fights with them, fucking up and apologizing afterward, valuing them for themselves (“This dumb tree, he is my friend!”) rather than for the bounty they represent or their ability to help us reach our goals.  Our Heroes get not one, not two, not even three, but at least four big “we are” moments—the palaver on Yondu’s ship, the “friends” scene, the conversation with Groot, and Quill’s invocation of the team name—and they sell each one brilliantly.

(I want there to be a strong “we are” moment for each character in the fellowship, and I’m wracking my brain but still haven’t remembered one for Gamora.  Maybe the Kevin Bacon line in the dogfight?  If she didn’t have one, that’s a bit of an oversight I think.  In general I found myself wanting the script to give Gamora a little more to do, though Saldana does an excellent job with her.  Also, the “whore” line just landed wrong, I thought, esp. given how sexuality wasn’t an open issue between Gamora and Drax.  Anyway!  Onward!)

Now we reach the part of the essay where I bite off a lot more than I can chew, because I’m going to Speculate about Geek Culture in a broader sense.  Fellowship-hunger seems to transcend cinema.  I defy you to find a geekier pursuit than Dungeons and Dragons, which is basically Fellowship: the Game.  We follow individual people on the internet, but we fall in love with groups of them.  Part of the joy of watching, say, the Shut Up and Sit Down team review and play board games, or the Loading Ready Run team do sketch comedy, is that of seeing cool folk who care about one another hang out together.

For the most part, I think this is great.  Modern life can be pretty damn atomizing and alienating.  If a cultural (or subcultural) emphasis on fellowship develops in response to that atomization, if we realize that we’re better people when enmeshed in networks of friends, relatives, and lovers than we are when wandering in the Black Forest waiting for God to scream in our ear—then so much the better.

Which isn’t to say fellowship is The Big Answer to Everything!  Fellowships can have problems, and setting fellowship as an ultimate value can lead to weird second-order effects, like  sweeping problems and even crimes under the rug in the name of stability, or confusing criticism of the fellowship for betrayal of it: well-intentioned critics are cast into the outer darkness with the unnamed Rohirrim, if they’re lucky.  I just learned about the Geek Social Fallacies last week; they’re part of the danger I describe, though I’d like to expand that danger to include, say, cases where some people who think of themselves as members of the ‘gamer’ fellowship perceive analysis of e.g. sexism in AAA titles as an attack on the fellowship.

That said, I think fellowship stories at their best address these very problems by showing groups wrestling with their identities and goals, even as the heroes of traditional conflict plots wrestle with their adversaries.

Maybe that makes sense.  Maybe not.

In the end I guess all I’m trying to say is: Guardians of the Galaxy!  Soundtrack! dancing! raccoon! guns! Groot!

But wait, there’s more!

I still have a new book out.  It’s really good.

Also I have a new essay on, in which I talk about fantasy, liberation, and the closed-platform future.

Also out recently: Revolution 60, an iOS game in which a team of nanotech-enhanced Charlie’s Angels-esque secret agents in a day-glo neon near future steal a rocket so they can steal a space station. But the true danger may come from within! Or, you know, from the special forces personnel who happen to *occupy* said space station at the moment…

Great combat system, a multi-axis embodied morality that has more to do with loyalty, compassion, and professionalism than abstract good or evil, an excellent all-female cast, a sense of humor, and a fair dose of robo-ninjas riding motorcycles on a space station—if you like what I like in video games, you’ll like this.

Also, Giant SpaceKat, the developers, are a Boston local all-female indie dev house. Hooray for the home team! 

And I have a WorldCon Schedule!  But my hands are tired, so you’ll have to wait a day or two on that.  Rock on!

Hackeysack, Boozeomancy, and Virtual Languages

July 30th, 2014 § 5 comments § permalink

Hobbits don’t speak English.

We read their speech in English, sure, but the language in which Bilbo et. al. talk Longbottom Leaf bears little relationship to English as spoken in Tolkien’s day, let alone ours. We read a representation of that speech in English—that’s to say, a translation. And though I wouldn’t put it past Tolkien to have a detailed grammar of Western Common salted away in his papers, he wrote his manuscripts for the most part in English. So we have pipeweed and second cousins twice removed on the mother’s side, and birthday parties and country gentlemen turning the ripe old age of eleventy-one.

Translation, done right, is brilliant and difficult, but when done even a little wrong it can break the meaning and cultural associations of the source text. My favorite example: there’s an old Chinese sport / pastime that features prominently in Ming Dynasty fiction, which most modern translations render as “football.” Now, think about Ming Dynasty football. Have a vision in your head of what that would look like? Does it feature Ming Dynasty Pele or Peyton Manning?

Yeah, well, you’re both wrong. The term translated “Football” here refers to a game in which folks stand in a circle and attempt to pass a leather ball from one to another without using their hands. We’re talking, basically, about hackeysack as played by 15th-century Chinese gentlemen. I don’t know why American translators shrink from calling a hackeysack a hackeysack—except maybe that (a) it stinks of modernity (in much the same reason you can’t name a character in historical fiction about 11th century England “Tiffany” even though people back then were named Tiffany), and (b) it summons up weird cultural associations, mostly of skinny dreadlocked barefoot prep school boys kicking the sack with weed smoke heavy on the air and Widespread Panic playing in the background. (I guess that might be Mumford & Sons these days? I AM NOT COOL.) Now, I think those cultural associations are informative and interesting, but I’m not a professional translator and apparently there’s been a consensus of translation—but the consensus means uninformed readers of translations that describe the sport as “football” will have a picture of what’s happening in the story that’s as vivid as it is incorrect.

Language is weird. And it gets weirder in subcreated or “secondary world” fantasy, in which, ostensibly, neither English nor any of the hundreds of tongues it’s mugged for grammar and vocabulary exist. Do you like your secondary-world steampunk gentlemen to wear purple ascots? Then you’d better take care that your world has a Royal Ascot Club, because that’s where the word comes from. Anyone ever eat a sandwich? Where does that word come from? What do your characters drink? Wine comes from the French, rivverrun roundabout from Latin. Whiskey springs from a Gaelic source word, lager is German, vodka’s Russian, aqua vitae is Latin rendering of the meaning of the Gaelic, aquavit has similar origins but refers to something else entirely.

And of course, the physical correlates of all these linguistic artifacts have their own cultural significance! The ascot has the social connotations it does because of accidents of history—and the same’s true of spats, the necktie, golf, swing music, slam poetry, minstrels, druids, scotch, pinstripes, sagging pants, the zoot suit, the miniskirt, blue jeans, sequins. We could try to shuffle the significance of these symbols, but it’s rare to pull this off without utterly confusing the reader. We could try to invent new symbols whole cloth, but that way lies three-page descriptions of the significance of various characters’ modes of dress. Which is great if that’s the kind of book you want to write! But it’s a particular kind of book, meant for a particular audience.

The closer we get to a modern setting, the more we have to deal with modern words and concepts and frameworks: Dumpster’s a brand name, as are Kleenex and Xerox and Polaroid. Jazz is jazz because history. It’s easy to claim we see these things as complex and contingent because the modern world is complex and contingent, but I wonder if, say, 14th century France didn’t seem every bit as complex and contingent to people who lived there. There probably would be fewer brand names, sure, but it’s not as if fashion and prejudice are original to the 20th century.

There are many ways to deal with this in writing fantasy, and they’re all right when used well. One’s to use new language for old stuff with old connotations. That’s cool, but occasionally confusing. One’s to use new language for new stuff with new connotations. That works too, though it’s so easy to mess up by creating a world that’s too simple and too complex at once. (Readers may not be amused if, once they learn the seventeen new words you’ve asked them to, they realize your culture is a stripped-down analogue of Western European medieval feudalism. Then again, they may! Certain writers can make drying paint interesting. If you can get away with this, I doff hat and ascot alike.) One’s to use old language for old stuff with new connotations, a nice trick—one of my favorite examples that works is the position-swap of haute and rest stop cuisine in Samuel R Delany’s Babel-17, in which coq au vin is simple spacer fare, while burgers with French fries and ketchup are the height of elegance. It works because it’s funny, but even such a sharp writer as Delany has to spend half a scene in a very tight book highlighting the change. Another path is just to use existing words for existing stuff with existing connotations where it works, because readers know what a suit is, and they know what a cocktail is, and you can waste a disgusting amount of time trying to explain that a Fantasy Dark & Stormy is, you know, a Dark & Stormy—time that would be better spent building character, developing conflict, accelerating tempo, deepening tension.

I do a bit of all the above, and certainly there are other methods; the final one I listed is a favorite when I’m feeling cheeky or want to cheat in a slip of smooth exposition-free characterization, but it has weaknesses. Sometimes a Gin Mule will just throw people out of a story. And I don’t mean by, you know, a mule made of gin. Though that would be theoretically possible in a fantasy novel that contained, say, boozeomancers.

Hm. Boozeomancers. (*Makes note.*)

Anyway! To my mind this is one of the core fascinations of writing secondary-world fantasy: the creation of a working language and system of social connotations distinct from our own yet within our own, a sort of linguistic virtual machine. Tolkien walked these lines very well. He knew just when his characters should say “Namarie,” and when “I ain’t been dropping no eaves, sir, honest!” Sometimes the challenge feels an awe-inspiring. Sometimes it feels like kickboxing in a straightjacket: inherently limiting and on its face pointlessly difficult. But if you can pull it off, you’ll look so damn cool.

In Which I Am All Over The Internet

July 23rd, 2014 § 1 comment § permalink

I have many essays for you this week!

As per usual, I am roughly speaking all over the internet writing stuff for FULL FATHOM FIVE’s launch.  I’m hearing lots of great noise about it, too—my favorites being notes from people who say the book has encouraged them to think generatively, to break out of imaginative ruts.  Little could please me more than hearing that.

After a crazy launch / convention week, I’ve finally got back into stride on Book 5.  This morning I wrote three scenes that have needed writing for a while.  Pretty soon I reach the All Hell Breaks Loose segment of our adventure, not that All Hell hasn’t been breaking loose already—but Our Heroes are in a slight calm before the storm.  Seven plot cards remain (Or six?), but that could be anywhere between 15 and 30,000 words, probably closer to the later given that one of the cards basically says “THERE WAS A FIREFIGHT!”

there-was-a-firefight-2So yeah, that’s what’s up with me lately.

First order of business: I’m signing this evening at 7 PM in the Framingham, MA Barnes & Noble, so if you’re in the region get thee to the store!

Second order of business: listening to me talk about things!  What kinds of things have I been discussing around the internet?  Well, to date…

Third order of business: surprise!  I’ll be participating in an AMA on r/Fantasy Thursday afternoon / evening.  Bring your questions!  I will answer them!  My answers may be neither correct nor complete, but I’ll probably have some scotch at my side, so I’ll have that much going for me at least.

Happy reading!

New Story! Full Fathom Five Signing Pics! Yay!

July 16th, 2014 § 0 comments § permalink

First things first: JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE TO GO BACK IN THE, um.  INTERNET.  I have a new short story out today on!  For free!  Go read it!

Angelus Guns-composed


Still here?  Why?

Okay, fine, you probably want the low-down on the events of yesterday’s crazy awesome book launch!

Well.  It was great.

First things first, I have essays like all over the internet now.  I stopped by Mary Robinette Kowal’s blog to talk about My Favorite Bit in Full Fathom Five.  On SF Signal, I stop by Sarah Chorn’s Special Needs in Strange Worlds column to discuss how I used to cheat on eye exams, and (more seriously) the relationship between disability and worldbuilding.  And more to come!

Yesterday culminated in an amazing reading / signing / million dollar bash at Pandemonium Books and Games.  Here are some pictures from the event, courtesy of Amy Eastment!


And here’s another one, more serious:




There was wine.  Much good craic, book signing, and board game purchasing (I am now the proud owner of Mage Knight?  We’ll see how that turns out.) ensued.  Also ice cream!  As a result I’m a bit staggered today, but making  progress toward normal, non-release-addled human engagement.

Be well!  Enjoy the short story!  And the book, for that matter.

FULL FATHOM FIVE in Stores Today!

July 15th, 2014 § 5 comments § permalink


Front Cover Gif

You can find it on shelves!  You can find it on the internet!  You can find it anywhere and everywhere!


… Okay, maybe not everywhere.  But still.

Read this glowing review (Liz Bourke at!  Or this glowing review (Tammy Sparks at Books, Bones, Buffy)!  Or this other glowing review (by Dan/i/el at Intellectus Speculativus)!

Or read this cinematic-style trailer I wrote for the book!

Want signed copies?  Order them here!  Or come see me this evening at Pandemonium Books and Games, at 7pm!

Me, I’ll be busy collapsing in a corner somewhere.  Or baking cookies.  Cookies are good.

Though I should probably wait to start baking cookies until I stop being all


But, you know, for now:


FULL FATHOM FIVE Appearances at Readercon

July 9th, 2014 § 2 comments § permalink

As I write this I have one week before FULL FATHOM FIVE hits shelves. Time’s ticking down until you all read my strange book about false gods, nonprofit funding difficulties, slam poetry, golems, and murder. Fun stuff!

We’ll celebrate the launch at Pandemonium Books and Games in Central Square on Tuesday the 15th, at 7 pm. In the days leading up to that, you can best find me at ReaderCon, New England’s premier convention for People Who Read Stuff. Most likely I’ll be working up the urge to tell Samuel R. Delany that I really really enjoyed Dhalgren.

(You ever have one of those feelings, like you just read this masterpiece and want to talk to the author about it, but you feel like a dolt trying to do so because the book came out like thirty years ago and they’ve heard it already? Then again, if thirty years from now someone comes up to me saying they read and loved Full Fathom Five, I’ll fully expect an “Achievement Unlocked” dialogue to appear, so maybe I shouldn’t sweat it so much.)

If you’re wondering what I will be up to at Readercon, then have no fear! Schedule is here—and weirdly Friday-loaded:

Friday July 11

1:00 PM    G    The Difference Between Magic and Science . Max Gladstone, Lev Grossman, Andrea Hairston, Kenneth Schneyer (leader), J.M. Sidorova. In an interview with Avi Solomon, Ted Chiang proposed that “The difference between magic and science is at some level a difference between the universe responding to you in a personal way, and the universe being entirely impersonal.” How can we complicate this statement? Are there magic systems that are entirely impersonal, and if so, are they indistinguishable from science and technology? Is science only possible in an impersonal universe? How do we make allowances for the personal applications of science and the impersonal applications of magic, and where do the boundaries between them lie?
2:00 PM    F    When the Magic Returns. John Chu, Max Gladstone, Daryl Gregory, Lev Grossman, Victoria Janssen (leader). The “return” of magic into a mundane world is one of very few ways in which we see fantasy set in the future. Why is this? What makes fantasy and futurity so incompatible? Why is the return of magic so often associated with apocalypse, while its banishment is usually the consequence of scientific or industrial progress? From Aarne-Thompson tale types like Richard Corbet’s “The Fairies’ Farewell” to Kim Harrison’s Hollows series, panelists will talk about the ways in which magic-as-technology can be explored.
6:00 PM    E    Autographs. Felix Gilman, Max Gladstone.
8:00 PM    CL    Kaffeeklatsch. Max Gladstone, Lev Grossman.
9:00 PM    ENV    Reading: Max Gladstone. Max Gladstone. Max Gladstone reads excerpts from Full Fathom Five, his next novel (out July 15.)

Saturday July 12

1:00 PM    CO    The Shiny, Candy-like Zombie: Commoditizing the Undead. Scott Edelman, Max Gladstone, Catt Kingsgrave, John Langan, Sarah Langan (leader). On Twitter, M. John Harrison wrote about the appeal of zombies: “You can hate them without feeling wrong. You can kill them like eating sweets. Then you’re hungry again & you can kill more. They’re fully dehumanised. There’s no off-season, no moral limitation. They’re the *enemy*. What’s not to love? They’re what we really want.” So do we like zombies because they’re the consumer-friendly, ambiguity-free face of implacable evil? Are they, in fact, the most perfectly commoditised monsters?

So, basically I’ll be trying not to look like an idiot in front of a bunch of very smart people, including Lev Grossman and Felix Gilman. Yipe. Wish me luck!

The lead up to con and launch, as usual, has involved psychic heavy lifting—writing of essays, trying to say smart things on the radio with people, etc. (To wit, check out this interview I did with Justin Landon and Tabitha Pabkins for’s Rocket Talk podcast!) Mindwise I’m a bit short on surplus analysis, but here’s a rundown of recent consumption:

EDGE OF TOMORROW. It’s great. Tom Cruise gets shot repeatedly in the face for Buddhism. Emily Blunt is excellent. Action scenes never gratuitous, always comprehensible—no mean feat when your bad guys are amorphous metal squidmonsters. See in theaters if possible. I saw it twice in one day. It was a very hot day, but still.

THE RHESUS CHART. Charlie Stross’s Laundry Files continue their long and awesome build. The latest installment is worth reading the four preceding volumes—though I don’t think you have to.  CHART contains both the funniest moment and the strongest gut-punch in the series so far, at least by my lights. Also there is a vampire investment bank. No, I mean, like, there are investment bankers who actually drink people’s blood. I’m not being metaphorical, they have sharp teeth and cannot go out in daylight, and- oh, just read it, it’s excellent.

THE FIRE NEXT TIME. James Baldwin, and yes I’ve never read this before. You should if you haven’t yet. It’s about a hundred pages, brilliantly written, and Vital Reading, especially for US-Americans. Makes me want to reread Ellison’s (Ralph, not Harlan) INVISIBLE MAN, but that’s a bigger project for a later day. Harrowing and intense. As necessary now as when it came out.

WAR FOR THE OAKS. Emma Bull. A trip to the wellspring of modern urban fantasy (as a marketing category I mean, technically Lankhmar is urban fantasy, but that’s another panel). Remarkable how much this book is about cities and bands and love and sex as opposed to Faerie Magick; there’s capital S Sorcery here, sure, but music’s the heart. Watch for a garden party illusion contest that (unless I’m very much misreading it) throws a glove to the whole fantasy genre, in the kindest way.

ECLIPSE: RISE OF THE ANCIENTS. I wrote about Eclipse back in winter, but this was the first game I’ve played with five players and all the new expansion material. Rise of the Ancients massively improves (to my mind) the tactical picture of Eclipse by dislodging the slightly overpowered missile boat build from its throne and altering (via warp portals) the game’s topology to prevent hyperspace turtling. If you don’t know what those words mean, just play this game. Further endorsement: bearded guy with cute bulldog puppy saw us walking to our game, came up to us: “ECLIPSE my favorite game EVER, I love it so much!” Don’t doubt the bulldog puppy. Or disappoint it. Or else it will come for you wif its cute ickle TEETH and sweet JAWS.

(I like board games and I kind of idolize the SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN folks, so I’ve been thinking about reviewing board games around here more frequently. Not sure I have sufficiently broad experience with games to be able to review them, though…)

Meanwhile, on the TBR pile:

THE CAUSAL ANGEL, Hannu Rajaniemi. The Quantum Thief was one of my favorite books of the last few years. I look forward to seeing how he finishes the series!

MY REAL CHILDREN, Jo Walton. Nuff said.

THE KILLING MOON, NK Jemisin. A long overdue read. Looks wonderful and weird.  First few pages very tightly written.

THE SECOND WORLD WAR, Anthony Beevor. I know more about the Opium Wars and the Taiping Revolution than I know about The War. Time to fix that. If I ever want to write that God Wars novel, it would help to know how a war that reinvented the technology of warmaking was fought.

And that’s all I have for now. Go listen to that podcast. Or enjoy your summer. Or buy my book.  Hopefully all of the above!  I’ll see you here next Tuesday, for *drumroll* Launch Day.

At Least Space is Cold

July 2nd, 2014 § 1 comment § permalink

It’s hot.

It’s really hot.  Especially in my house.  If you look at today’s Somerville weather report (and it’s Tuesday, by the way, for those of you playing along at home—I don’t write these posts day of if I can help it!), you will find a number.  That number is irrelevant.  Humidity and lack of air conditioning and post-fencing heat exhaustion mean I don’t have to care what the weather service says.  This is the actual forecast.

Fortunately I spent some of the day in SPACE.

My friend Kendric’s in town.  (And, may I take a moment to say—this season, no well-appointed young gentleman would dare be seen around town without a Kendric Tonn original oil painting.  So there.)  In his perpetual quest to separate your humble correspondent from his already nonexistent free time and discretionary budget, Kendric brought a tackle box full of X-Wing Miniatures.  So far, we’re two dogfights into the week, and my internal polls show a distinct amplification of enthusiasm.

I’m not going to say anything here that the folks on Shut Up & Sit Down didn’t say in their review of the game, but there’s an odd chance that some of you may not be reading Shut Up & Sit Down, so I’ll have to shoulder the burden.  The X-Wing miniatures game is a lightweight yet robust game of dogfighting around an asteroid field.   You assemble a squadron of pre-painted plastic miniatures, gather your friends, and zoom around your dining room table executing barrel rolls and Immelmans, activating (or switching off, if you’re insane) your targeting computer, and generally having a hell of a time.

Now: I’ve played this game on a computer.  I played it back when it was Rebel Assault, and Rebel Assault II.  I played it when it was TIE Fighter.  I played it on my Performa 6100/60, I played it on my friend Ian’s Sega CD, I played it on the tank-sized ThinkPad my high school rented me for a year.  I played this game on the GameCube once or twice.  And yet…

This afternoon, when the temperature was Oh God and the humidity was Why Would You Build Your City in a Swamp, my two TIE fighters and my Interceptor (piloted by Baron Soontir Hand-Me-My-Wallet-It’s-The-One-That-Says-Bad-Mothafucka-On-It Fel, natch) barreled through an asteroid field pursuing Kendric’s sole remaining Y-wing; his desperate pilot played asteroid slalom to deny me firing arcs while snagging corner shots with his ion turret.  We weren’t even playing the theme music, and we were both there.

We’re wired to project ourselves into objects: give a woman a hammer and her brain’s model of her body expands to include the hammer.  And when given a small, beautiful, high-quality TIE fighter of molded plastic, with a little heft to it, and simple rules that let me translate  desires through that model into strategic action, adventure, tension, story—I slide into the cockpit, and I’m in space.

Which is a pretty cool place to be.

And “cool” is exactly what I need right about now.


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