Muhammad Ali vs. the Octopus People of Cephalos IX
Saturday I took my first private fencing lesson, and the teacher said some awfully familiar things as he put me through my paces:
- “Relax. When your shoulder’s tense, it announces what you’re going to do before your blade moves.”
- “Don’t lead with your body. It gives away your movement.”
- “Keep your wrist aligned.”
- “Bend your knees more. It hides your intent.”
These themes were also the core of my taiji instruction, back in college (and in China). Relax the shoulders, root yourself in your foot, keep your knees bent, maintain beautiful lady’s wrist. Strange to think that two forms of activity so different in their practice, at least to an untrained observer (taiji’s beautiful and flowing, but slow, while the only thing in the Olympics faster than a saber tip is a bullet), spring from the same principles. Maybe that’s not so strange, now that I think about it: the human body is a constant, so why shouldn’t forms of combat, no matter how stylized, share elements?
In that case, what would an alien martial art look like? Something designed to be practiced by a creature with three limbs, or tentacles, or wings? What principles would change? What would stay the same? And how would an alien fighting style interact with a human one? Would a boxer be any good against an octopus-wrestler, given that the tells he uses to identify intent, speed, and direction would all be wrong?
